Posted & filed under Others.

Not everyone is comfortable making small talks at social events. Some dread the idea, while others see it as an opportunity to expand their network, whether for business or social purposes. Taken from my Facebook posting on 9 May 2017:

NOT JUST MINGLING AROUND: When you’re not into small talk, mingling around with people you don’t know very well isn’t easy. At functions or social events, we can’t be hiding in a corner, so we’ve got to face those around us. I’ve found that it helps when we assume immediate rapport, treating strangers like they’re already great friends. When the topic at hand is alien to us, we can steer the chat towards something we have in common, so we can contribute equally. It’s best to look at everyone as an opportunity, to build a great friendship or to just have a chatty time.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Latha Ravindran: Mingling around with people whom I am not familiar is very awkward for me. I guess it comes easily to people who find themselves in such situayions quite often such as businessmen. The best way to break the ice is like Tan Sri suggested assume they are your friends to strike up a conversation. Practice makes it perfect.

Emil Lee: Good morning to you Tan Sri Clement and to all my buddies herein. Mingling around people especially at functions is a social etiquette. We can always start conversation with someone whom we are aquainted with and then slowly move on with a smile follow by a handshake with a stranger whom we had just met. They say no man is an island rings a bell here, as you move on you will meet people who are having the same wave length as you and from there on you are on the road to having a good conversation. One might not be a fish to water but with some practices one will be able to enjoy the swim.

Susan Quat: Being invited to functions or events where the people around us are not known to us sometimes is an opportunity to gain some knowledge or insight into the theme or purpose of such events. Ask the right questions and mingle around and who knows those small talk could turn into business opportunity or making new friends.

 

My other FB postings between 8 May 2017 and 14 May 2017:

 

8 May 2017

RUNNING OUR OWN RACE: It’s a crowded world out there, and we tend to be a tad bit competitive at times. It happens when we compare ourselves with other people. I get messages from FB friends who wish they’re “as successful” as I am. I guess you’re never going to be satisfied if you spend your whole life trying to be better than everybody else. I’m not envious of the likes of Mark Zuckerberg or Jack Ma. They’ve probably achieved more than I ever will in many lifetimes combined. You & I should be running our own race, just by being better today than we were yesterday.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

MarknJo Ang: Trying to fit ourselves in someone else’s shoes will only cause pain and discomfort
Most of the time we meet a successful person when he/she has made it. Rarely do we see the beginning
A successful person makes s good role model but not a place to usurp
No one can fit comfortably in another’s shoe without trying it on,and walking in it

Frankie David Chieng: If I just replace your position and take your reponsibilties I would be worried to mad or death. Each person has his talents and calling appraise oneself and fit in the shoe for you then you’re a happy man. Do your best and many trade can be a good chase.

Robert Lau: I have done comparing with others 30 years ago and I WORK HARD being me and WORKING HARD for my family. Today, I have a Successful Family.

….. and I am still working hard at life embracing all its beauty…

 

10 May 2017

LAPSE IN COMMON SENSE: No matter how smart we think we are, we’re not exempted from the occasional lapse in common sense. There’ve been occasions when I wore inappropriate attire to formal functions. I know a few millionaires who built their fortunes in businesses, only to lose them on the stock market. With some effort, I think common sense can be learned, so we can avoid doing irrational things too often. It’s a way of thinking that needs consistent fine-tuning, so we can correctly apply it to our everyday situations.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Cherie Tan: I always roll my eyes in an exaggerate way “afterwards” when face people without common sense. It is doing this act or let myself going crazy after talking with those without common sense.. especially when enforcing some policies that all people know except them know is penny wise and pounds foolish.

“It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.” – Robert G. Ingersoll

“Seek advice but use your own commom sense”. – Yiddish Proverb

Tay Cheow Hwang:
LAPSES IN COMMON SENSE

We’re nurtured and cultured,
With sets of common sense,
As the norm says so,
As the form prescribes so;

We’re lectured in perfecture,
What does make sense,
What doesn’t have sense,
Presupposed we can sense it;

Common sense has commonality,
Shared by majority of men and women,
Sound judgement with fact and figure,
Supported by evidence and prudence;

Common sense has individuality,
Dictated by emotionality and sentimentality,
Unsound evaluation with impulse and repulse,
Uncorroborated by logic and merit;

Lapses in common sense,
Logic departs from norm,
Merit takes another form,
We skip our right way;

Gap and lack in common sense,
Subjectivity takes precedence,
Objectivity departs from prudence,
We shift to wrong way;

Common sense,
We can learn, unlearn and relearn,
It’s just a matter of construction,
We construct, de-construct and re-construct;

Common sense,
We can fine-tune consistently,
It’s about a set of logic,
We attach merit beyond any limit

 

11 May 2017

JUST A FEW INTENSE MOMENTS: It took just 10 seconds for a mixed martial arts fighter to knock out a tai chi master in a duel that has sparked an outcry in China. The debate now is whether kung fu, or tai chi in particular, is a scam. The truth is, all those flurry of fists & spin kicks don't really happen in a real-world fight. I know, because I got into a couple of street fights in my early teens, and each lasted only a few intense minutes. Except for bloodied noses, no-one won any prizes. I think martial arts are a great way to keep fit, but not to settle scores. We just need to know a handful of moves for self-defence, which should be our ultimate reason to take up the sport.

Posted by Clement Hii on 10hb Mei 2017

JUST A FEW INTENSE MOMENTS:
It took just 10 seconds for a mixed martial arts fighter to knock out a tai chi master in a duel that has sparked an outcry in China. The debate now is whether kung fu, or tai chi in particular, is a scam. The truth is, all those flurry of fists & spin kicks don’t really happen in a real-world fight.
I know, because I got into a couple of street fights in my early teens, and each lasted only a few intense minutes. Except for bloodied noses, no-one won any prizes. I think martial arts are a great way to keep fit, but not to settle scores. We just need to know a handful of moves for self-defence, which should be our ultimate reason to take up the sport

Selected followers’ comments:

Choon Pin Yoong: There’s too much hype about any kind of martial arts, really. Only the movies make martial artists into great heroes.
Today the true heroes are those who maintain peace through non violent ways.
Any way, a hand grenade can blow to smitherings a whole house of kungfu, karate or whatucalldo sifus.

Patrick Yeoh: The truth is, Chinese martial arts is just too rigid and impractical for any use in actual combat. In a street fight, no one is going to wait for you assume a crane stance or pose for a tiger fist. It is for this very reason the late Bruce Lee modified Wing Chun into Jeet Kun Do, and later, abandoned Chinese martial arts altogether to invent a more practical free styled form of fighting.

Krizian Lim: Mixed martial art, Kung fu and tai chi. I like to look at it from sports point of view.

As a layman, Kung fu is seen as more dynamic, involves more physical movement and a training for muscular strength. Tai chi , or other forms of qigong, is seen as slow, graceful, focus more on breathing and deeper layer of muscle / ligaments or joints. Tai chi or qigong work to unblock the clogged flow of energy within our body. (You know what I mean if you have experienced it. Western science look at what can be seen /tested. More research has proven what used to be unbelievable in modern science, such as existence of meridians.)

MMA, Kung fu are more “yang” and tai chi is more “yin”. With a cross training of both and applying yin in the yang or vice versa, we can understand and strengthen our power more holistically. It is a balance of inner and physical strength.

 

12 May 2017

FIND YOUR WINGS FIRST: It’s one thing to dream big dreams; it’s another to want to fly before you can even walk, run or climb. I’ve met many aspiring (& young) entrepreneurs who think they can achieve overnight success. However, they usually forget they’ve to get something off the ground, for a start. Flight is a beautiful process, soaring up there & gliding in the wind. Nothing embodies freedom & feeling of superiority more than flying. But first, we need to discover our wings & start flapping them.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Rohaty Majzub: Yes one must be sufficiently equiped with the necessary knowledge, skills and attitude before starting on a venture
Thus we have apprenticeship and training before embarking on our career path and endeavours; infact pre training must be followed by post training for increasing professionalism.
Wings must be updated with the latest technology if not will become obsolete

Yuk Choi Lee: Very thoughtful sharing, Tan Sri. When i was having lunch with a close friend yesterday, we talked about big dream/ ambition when we were teenagers. Both of us have different dreams and now we have our own career path; though not the one we were aiming.

I think it makes great sense that the choice and the responsibility of our life and our success are ours, and it starts with what we focus on, how we perceive things, and how that perception influences how we decide to act. We must work with true focus and discipline, building real skill and knowledge along the way toward a mission we find meaningful.

Andrew Chan: My own wife worked for her father since 20 n was thrown into the deep sea so to speak at that tender age. Her father said, ” Read through all the orders, know the prices n sell, just don’t make any losses ! ” She bought over the business at 48 after her father retired. Those years of independence in making all the decisions in sales put her in a secured position to succeed. PTL we r cruising through even though we had only 300K as seed $ n a son studying medicine in Russia ! Her dad only gave us free use of the shop, storehouse, lorry n van. Every sale of his old stock was given back to him at order price. The most important asset in business is not $ capital but human capital. Cheers, hope those who aspire for success too can make it. You can if you thirst for it.

 

13 May 2017

OUR RESPONSE TO LIFE PASSAGES: Former Prime Minister Tun Abdullah Badawi hasn’t been very visible or vocal since he left office. He has just come forward to ask Umno members to support his successor Dato’ Seri Najib Razak. They have a common nemesis in Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad. The power of experiences to shape the mindset of a leader, past or present, is huge. Having to prematurely step down must have been a bitter experience for Pak Lah, but it’s obvious he holds no ill-will. When we respond to life passages & challenges from a learning stance, we can grow as a person who’s stronger, more humble & authentic.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Shenna Dot: Both of you look so happy in the picture. What was the function? That must be years ago. It is experiences which will no doubt shape our opinions and our thinking.

Tuck Meng Choong: Pak Lah, to me, has turned out to be a promise that was under-delivered. He’s a nice guy but he was not effective. He had no heart to fight back, but he also does not have enough guts to do what is right, and to make right what is wrong. Now, he is also turning a deaf ear to the pain of the people, and instead is asking the people to continue to support what is ailing the nation. I like that guy but he is quite a disappointment in the use of his influence.

Muhammad Aqil Deraman: If you look at Pak Lah and Tun M, there seems to be a paradox about how letting go and accepting things as they are affect one’s health. Pak Lah does not attack Najib the way Tun M does. Pak Lah appeared to have moved on, whereas Tun M has not. But Pak Lah has aged considerably, based on his recent photos, whereas Tun M’s stamina can still put a person half his age to shame. This flies in the face of the theory that people who let go enjoy better health. I guess Tun M had something to keep himself going, whereas Pak Lah did not, hence the difference in their respective state of health. Moral of the story: always keep yourself going, otherwise your health will go downhill!

 

14 May 2017

EMPATHY’S NOT AN APPROVAL: My managers think I’m sometimes too soft on people who’ve not kept their part of the bargain. I’m just being empathetic, trying to put myself in the shoes of the other person. When there’s empathy, I think it’ll be easier to work things through. To me, empathy is not an approval for things done or not done, but knowing someone else’s inner feelings as a result of it. There’ll be a time when we need empathy too, and the best way to get it is to give it.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Andrew Chan: Tan Sri, a former student who later became a fellow colleague confided n seek advice on her predicaments. She had tons of problems n missteps with her mum n brother to the extend she was kicked out of the house she helped renovate. An uncle who is a Datuk even had sent a few folks to threathen her n her Mainland China husband ! Knew all of them n was in a dilemma but yes empathy n wise advices r all I can give. I advised her to buy her own house with the gov’t loan available n let time heals that relationship. Sadly she fell v sick n passed away after nearly 5 years battling kidney problems n though she did bought an old double storey terrace house, her relationship with her family was unreconciled. Attended her funeral n was glad all her family including the feuding mother n brother attended. Bet they had realised relationship is more valuable than material things. Hearing her eulogy presented by another brother, those who knew her sufferings were speechless n nauseating ! Cheers, let’s empathise n be peace-makers n not family breakers.

Andrew Limsk: Being strict and uncompromising may bring obedience, but only empathy brings loyalty.

Soo Bee Kiong: Emphaty in leadership is an added attribute in any organization. To a third party, you’re perceived as being too nice.
My advice to young starters is this – ‘Don’t look for a job, look for a good boss’. He will take you far.

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