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Being betrayed by someone you had once trusted can be quite a painful experience. I have had my fair share of being betrayed. Taken from my Facebook posting on 17 June 2017:

WHAT THEY DID IS UNBELIEVABLE: Two longtime friends have turned out to be big disappointments of late. One convinced me to give him a sizable “tide-over loan” and suddenly went incommunicado. Another shared my highly confidential business information with a competitor. It isn’t about what they’ve taken from me, but my sheer disbelief that they would do what they did. There’re occasions when we feel betrayed but choose to forgive and work on restoring the trust & friendship. That’s if we think the ties are worth salvaging. Sometimes the betrayal is so obvious, yet we can’t believe what we see. But we have to believe what we feel. Do you remember one time you feel betrayed?

 

Cherie Tan: I did feel betrayed by a close friend at the age of 18. I learn from then on when is the time to cut certain people from my life and when it is time to move on. My other friends asked, “are you still angry with her after so long?” And my reply is “do you think i will waste more of my time on her to get angry at her? I have more interesting things in my life to focus on.” 😆😃 i believe gratefulness play a deep part when we choose to forgive the guilty party but that does not mean we will let them into our lives anymore.

P.s. do be sad for your friends who had to resort to this lowly method in order to get money, do feel blessed that you are not them. A celebrity once comments on a show, “i never expect for those i loan to return me my money, i just hope that they can live a much better life.” And my mum always say in chinese, “who want to be bald if they have hair.” 😄

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart.” – Unknown

Hyp Y Paraffinum: Yes. Definitely. They money gone is one part. The friendship gone hurts more. Biz partner’s betrayal hurts even more. And many wonder why am I more of a loner. Cause I choose to open up to only few selected people. Fought side by side with people who remain loyal but always keep benefit of doubt. Not because I am saint-like , but because I choose not to question their action and get hurt even more.

As for your friend, one is too embarrassed to face you or to admit his actual financial failure/trouble. Knowing you, he choose to hide than face confrontation.

Another friend could be in jealous rage. Oh we do have “friends” as such that keep constant in touch not because they care, they just want to know how you are. Monitoring from far. Your first downfall would be their greatest piece of sweet news. Or second, he could be a dumb douchebag. Doesn’t know how to stop and too excited with your plans and boasted it to competitors thinking he could put them down.

 

My other FB postings between 12 June 2017 and 18 June 2017:

 

12 June 2017

INTELLIGENT BUT STILL HUMAN: I’m no Einstein, but I’ve have the privilege of working with highly intelligent people. It’s untrue that they’re super human beings who have everything figured out. They may struggle with issues that are different from ours, but ultimately, they’re also humans. I notice intelligent people find small talk to be frustrating, as their brains are probably mostly overwhelmed with endless ideas. And because they’re wired to all possible solutions to a problem, they’ll usually take more time to give an opinion. I can see they’re under more pressure to succeed, as they feel their lives should be headed in a different, and not in the same, direction as everyone else. Exactly what we ordinary folks should be feeling & doing too.

 

Selected followers’ comments:
Krizian Lim: Intelligent people or may be genius, they have countless ideas, too many things in their head, curious and creative, a thinker ….. that sometimes may sound or seem eccentric.

I think, genius, like Einstein, probably just a fine line away from a smart madman? That is because they dare to be different, dare to be genuine, following their quest to find answers to questions that intriguing them.

Perhaps, every child was once a genius. It is only when we were taught to follow the standard rules of the world, we become “ordinary”.

Intelligence may be is result of talent plus a lot of hardwork, in any fields.

Low Keng Lok: There are so many types of intelligences according to Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences. Surely each one of us will excel in at least one (perhaps more than one) of them: musical-rhythmic-artistic, verbal-linguistic, visual-spatial, logical-mathematical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential-moral intelligences. So don’t despair, we are human to be intelligent.

Susan Quat: Intelligence is not measured by how good you are academically. We are all born with different talents, so we need to tap on this and be the best in whatever fields we are in. Some are good in arts / painting, and other can just play beautiful pieces of music by just listening so don’t judge and even for children let them be free to choose what they want to persue in life as long as what they do doesn’t bring harm to others.

 

Tay Cheow Hwang: Speech from heart is the best. You did it well.

Raveendran Subramaniam: Not bad for an impromptu presentation Sir. There was good eye contact, excellent use of body language clearly born out of conviction for what you were wanting to share, no pause fillers, good articulation and timing. All the basics for a good speech and an extemporaneous one at that! Well done Sir. I would say it’s of Toastmasters standards. Coming from the Charter Member, Kuching Toastmasters Club, and Charter President, Kota Kinabalu Toastmasters Club.

Kum Yuen Ho: Tan Sri awesome speech well done.

13 June 2017

FROM ANALYSIS TO PARALYSIS: I’ve made hasty decisions which I would later wish I’d decided differently. But that doesn’t stop me from taking the bull by the horns when the need arises. I think being analytical is a good thing, but planning ahead for all eventualities is just plainly impossible. Some things work well in theory, but not in reality. It should never be about making a perfect decision, because I don’t think there’s one. We need to stop worrying endlessly about the possible consequences of everything we want to do. Over-analysing & indecision will only slow down the progress of our lives in many aspects.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Philip Lim: No risk, no gain. There is risk to everything…even if it is just a routine of going to work in the morning or sleeping in our comfy room at night. Take risks if you have to, but only calculated risks.

Alice YokYuen Wong: Can’t agree more with you Tan Sri. Yes, plan we must with what we want from life but too much planning gives us more headaches wondering if the outcome could have been better if we had done it another way. All the “If’s” paralyses our brains unnecessarily and we will find our lives being filled with worries. A thinking person (like me) can’t have complete rest even when we sleep. Our subconscious mind won’t allow us peace. So, if I can change my mindset I think I should analyze less and let nature takes its course. A simple life is a happy one.

KK Aw: During the planning stage where the problem is analyzed and solutions developed; it is important that the guiding principles are also identified. During execution, things that have not been planned for will emerge and there is no time for deep analysis. This is where the guiding principles will help us from going off on a tangent.

 

14 June 2017

OUR AFFAIR WITH MONEY: A childhood friend asked me: “You rich guys should already have more than you ever need, so what does more money mean to you?” That’s a fascinating question, and makes me realise that money means more to us than just ringgit bills. We all make our biggest life decisions – education, jobs, houses & other investments – according to the funds that we have. What’s different is the relationship between money and each of us. Money for some people can be the means to happiness & financial security, or it can be a graveyard for those in debts & stress. For the greed-driven, they’ll forever be prisoners of their own wealth. What do you think is your relationship with money?

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Muhammad Aqil Deraman: To answer that question we need to know how much is “necessity”, how much is “ego”. A businessman may need to buy a luxury car to impress and build the confidence of his partners and potential clients. If that’s the case, then it’s a “necessity”. But if he does that because he feels good about owning a Porsche, then it’s “ego”. If “ego” outweighs “necessity” that person will be a slave to money. A lot of youngsters these days spend out of ego, splurging on designer labels and overpriced coffee. They often spend money they don’t have and end up with a mountain of debt even before they settle down.

Eizaz Azhar: Good morning sir! I’ve always seen money as a means of securing my independence; to live a life the way I want and to give back to the world the way I see fit. I believe it’s about creating value towards myself, my family, and society… to me money is just an enabler to reach out to a higher cause that brings me fulfillment towards a job well executed.

It certainly wouldn’t hurt to have much more, then you would be able to realize your hopes and dreams and help others do the same, the way you have done! But if you ask me at the end of the day we as humans find solace in the simple things like our loved ones and our passion for the life we live – I think that is where true happiness lies.

Tuck Meng Choong: Money helps to relieve stress. It’s minding that money that is stressful.

When you have more than enough money, you need not be stressed by decisions whether to buy or not to buy because of budgetary constraints. If your child wishes to study whatever wherever, money is not a problem for those who have more than enough. But for the ones who have to count their money each time there’s a purchasing need, it is very stressful. For most folks it is this lack of money that is the cause of stress, conflicts and all kinds of ills.

For the rich who are caught is money’s never-ending allure, their stress is probably the constant itch to make more than their previous successes. If they made a billion the last time, they want to make 2 billion this time. Is that correct?

Sometimes I wonder whether the rich and super-rich can or do sit back one fine day and decide, “Yup, I have made it. That’s enough success for me, time for me to let go of it all”, and then just quit the business scene to enjoy their wealth. Some are already so rich that they can enjoy their life for a few generations and yet will not be able to finish off the wealth, but still they are actively involved in the business until the ripe old age of 80’s or more. Hard to let go of it? Nothing can be brought along to the next world anyway…..

 

15 June 2017

THE UNAPPRECIATED & UNDERPAID: I find it heartrending each time I see labourers, both locals and foreigners, sweating it out under the hot sun, covered in dirt. They’re the most hardworking people of any society, and yet they’re unappreciated & grossly underpaid. My late father and 3 older brothers were labourers who worked from dawn to dusk for meagre incomes. I’ve always wondered how they’d managed to make ends meet. Our dirt-covered workers today toil under the scorching heat for the growth & development of the country, and yet many of them live & die in poverty. Would there be a day when we’ve suitable minimum wages & retirement benefits for our labourers?

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Patricia Cynthia Wong Wong: Good afternoon, Tan Sri Clement Hii
Every time, I passed by construction sites and see those guys climbing up so high to build houses, condo and shops, I would cover them in prayers because they are the bread winners of the family.
And I carry my late mum’s tradition, to give a red Ang pow to the garbage collectors every CNY.
It’s always more blessed to give than receive.
God bless you, bro. I know you bless so many people without sounding it out.
Have a blessed day ❤

Somasundaram Venkateswaran: Tan Sri Clement Hii: You are a big employer yourself. You ought to know the extent of exploitation that unscrupulous employers in Malaysia have been imposing on these unfortunate people. Just take a drive along our highways and see the number of foreign workers working on overhead bridges and highway pillars, and often precariously perched on the upper floors of uncompleted buildings, with little or no safety gear. Perhaps their one and only “sin” is that they were born into poor families in poor countries. And they are paying the price with their entire working lives. If you are really keen to help these unfortunate people, and I believe you do, judging from your statements, you should be making a big representation for these exploited workers at the various employers’ organisations, such as the Malaysian Employers Federation, Federation of Malaysian Manufacturers, the several chambers of commerce, manufacturers’ associations, etc. as well as with the Department of Labour and the Industrial Relations Department. When big employers like you speak, the government will listen. In this country the government will only listen if powerful, rich and influential people like you with a conscience for these poor and unfortunate people decide to speak up for them.

Philip Hii: As a leading developer,you can take the lead by paying the labourers better than others and provide them better welfare.I know you are always a good boss.

 

16 June 2017

THOSE WHO DON’T TAKE RISKS: The kids from the children’s home run by my charity arm, Hiichiikok Foundation, seemed amazed by the size & grandeur when they recently visited my office. I took the chance to ask about their life ambitions, and assured them I’ll fund their tertiary education if they could make it into professional courses like medicine or engineering. Only a few of the kids, who’re orphans or homeless, aspire to be entrepreneurs, who by the very nature of their calling, are risk-takers. In life, I think risks are commonly taken either by the rich, who can afford them, or by the desperately poor, who have nothing to lose. It’s probably the people who’re just above the poverty line who’re afraid to take risks for fear of losing the basics that they already have.

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Low Keng Lok: This bunch of kids are very lucky with Tan Sri behind them. Their world is their oyster as the globe on the left! Hopefully all the risks they take are calculated ones.

Tay Cheow Hwang:
THOSE WE DON’T TAKE RISKS

If you’ve nothing to lose,
You lose nothing,
You tend to try,
Making chances to happen;

If you’ve already had something,
You dare to have something lost,
You tend not to try,
Remaining at status quo;

Having something at hand,
You find it difficult to sustain,
What you’re having now,
Devalued as time goes by;

Having nothing at hand,
You strive it hard to get,
What you’re forgetting,
Something is nothing at the end;

Every opportunity is risk,
You see opportunity forthcoming,
Risk is also incoming,
You’re left to take the risk;

Every risk is opportunity,
You see risk is rising,
Opportunity is also welcoming,
You’re left to take the opportunity.

 

18 June 2017

THE SIMPLICITY OF CHILDHOOD: I was passing by a kid’s playground and couldn’t resist trying out some of the playthings. All of us have fond memories of our childhood. Those were not bountiful days, but we used our own creativity to have a good time with whatever we had. I’ve vivid recollections of the flowing stream and fruit trees near our wooden house at Engkilo Village, and the water floods at Belian Lane in Sibu where we later moved to. I’m trying to understand why some things stick to our minds, to become happy memories, and others don’t. What do you think would help to create positive memories for a child?

 

Selected followers’ comments:

Su Kiang Heng: I think the fundamental for a kid in their childhood is about FUN. However, I notice fun have been taken away in the early age by kiasu parents. Kids were sent to all kind of classes and fully occupied their days. Besides, technology also change the way we live. I strongly emphasise to let my son enjoy his childhood to the fullest bcoz this can’t be replaced with anything in later stage of life.

Vincent Cheong Kam Weng: We had no iPads, no PlayStation no internet but we had fun. That was one thing that I really feel sorry for the children of the modern generation.

Ong Phaik Kim: Sad that all our streams are full of motor oil n lifeless! I grow up catching tiny fishes from the stream that flow in front of the house. Use to get rotan – use kitchen sieve to scoop up the fishes

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